I Don't Regret Anything At All
by sweet-exile
Summary: Follow up to ‘Who Said Time Was On My Side?’ Next in 'The Shattered Pasts' series Slash


I Don't Regret Anything At All  
  
Rating: G. m/m slash, violence  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but I can dream.  
  
Summary: Follow up to 'Who Said Time Was On My Side?'  
  
Warning: character death  
  
Notes: Next in the 'Shattered Pasts' Series  
  
Feedback: sweet_exile_uk@yahoo.co.uk, feedback's always good even if it's to let me know I'm way off, I'm very insecure you know.  
  
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"I can't take much more of this Spike," Wesley was sitting in a high backed chair, drumming his fingers nervously on the counter top. "What I am going to do?"  
  
"First things first, quit trying to bore holes in the worktop." Spike stopped in front of Wesley and grabbed his hands. "Much better. Look I know you're nervous, have every right to be and I'm not going to lie to you, this isn't going to be easy but I know Xander. He'll sort Angel out make sure he knows what's what. After that it's up to you."  
  
"You really know how to make a person feel better."  
  
"Can't be feeling that bad if you're taking pot shots at me."  
  
"Sorry," Wesley pulled away from Spike's grasp and stood up. "I don't think I can see him again. Not after what he did, not after what I did. I took his son Spike, there's always going to be a part of him that will hate me for that. I don't think I can bare it."  
  
"You also brought him back, safe and sound. Did what you thought was best at the time to protect him. Angel's a slow on the uptake yeah but the truth'll work it's way through that great thick head of his eventually."  
  
Wesley gave Spike a wan smile, "you don't think much of Angel do you?"  
  
Spike snorted, "that's an understatement but it's complicated and comes from a time when I thought Dru' was everything. I hated that he was her Sire and had power to control her. She always went willing of course, loved her Daddy. Still it cut me up. 'Course that was back in the day when he was Angelus and honestly I know you better than I do him now."  
  
"Maybe it's time to change that, why haven't you left Sunnydale?"  
  
"Xander. He still feels obliged to watch after the slayer. After all she's done and he still feels loyal. One of the things I love about him. I should've killed her that night soul or not. Leaving Sunnydale comes under the heading of things we don't talk about."  
  
"Why didn't you, kill her I mean? Xander mentioned something about your chip no longer being active."  
  
"Yeah Red, she visited one day reached into my head and pulled it out as cool as you like. A birthday present for Xander she said, so I could protect him from jealous slayers. Her and Tara left town soon after that. Xander won't let me kill the bitch and I guess he's right the hellmouth still needs guarding. If she comes anywhere near him again not even Xander could stop me. I protect what's mine."  
  
"Then you should leave because sooner or later they will meet and from what I remember of Buffy she doesn't forgive easily."  
  
Spike's eyes flashed gold as he rounded on Wesley, "her forgive? That bitch should crawl over broken glass for what she put Xander through."  
  
Wesley suddenly found a piece in the carpet very interesting, "sorry I have a terrible habit of saying the wrong thing."  
  
"It's ok Wes, not your fault. But I can't lose Xander, I'd rather walk in the sun."  
  
"You're protective most vampires are"  
  
"Not just the demon my soul's all for ripping her liver out and feeding it to her."  
  
"Oh," Wesley was taken aback. "I wonder what Angel's soul has planed for me."  
  
"Idiot," Spike sighed. "You still think he meant to punish you. If he wanted to do that he would have made you a minion and left you to wait for the dawn. Wesley look at me, you're starting to wear a hole in the carpet now."  
  
Wesley reluctantly looked up from the spot he'd been staring at.  
  
"He made you a childe," Spike continued. "With enough strength to leave him, expect he wanted you to stay though."  
  
"I wanted that too, so much. I love him, I always have. It hurt like hell to walk out, both times. He's my Sire I need him. I was so confused that's why I left, he did the one thing I asked him not to." Wesley sank to the floor and held his knees against his chest. "But I can't be angry at him not anymore I want him too much."  
  
Spike sat beside him rubbing small comforting circles on his back. "Well tell him that not me and I promise to talk to Xander seriously about leaving."  
  
"Deal."  
  
| |  
  
It was Angel's turn to talk as Xander finished his coffee. He told Xander about Connor about how well he was doing in school and looked every bit the proud father. Neither of them noticed a certain blonde slayer until it was too late.  
  
"Well isn't this cosy. Angel you never write, you never phone I'm starting to think we really are over."  
  
"Buffy it's good to see you too."  
  
"I'm sure it is. Didn't think the whole champion gig extended to hanging out with ex-high school losers. Filling you in on all he did has he? How he took everything I had left and turned my friends against me."  
  
"You did that all by yourself," Xander's replied his voice small.  
  
"You don't get to speak," Buffy turned to glare at him.  
  
"We were just leaving Buffy," Angel moved in front of her blocking her path to Xander. He didn't like the murderous stare her eyes held. Gone was the golden girl he'd fallen for, the Buffy in front of him now was hard, her mouth set in a cruel line. She was exactly like Xander had described and he knew he had to get Xander out of here fast.  
  
"Don't leave on my account. Wesley isn't going anywhere," she smirked at the twin looks of shock. "Of course I knew this is my town. Nice bit of vengeance by the way. All you need to do now is let me at him. I'll show him what it means to lose everything you've ever loved. I would have done it earlier but somebody has a protection spell on their home and I can't brake it."  
  
It was Angel's to get angry as he picked Buffy up by the neck, dragged her outside and threw her on the ground. "You will stay away from Wesley."  
  
Xander rushed out behind them, "stop, leave her. We need to go home." He pulled desperately at Angel's arm.  
  
Buffy looked up Angel in disbelief, "you and Wesley? After all he did. I really am the only sane one left."  
  
"It's not as simple as that."  
  
"Sure it is, you're a vampire remember. Wesley took what was yours and now you take your revenge. I get that really I do." Buffy picked herself up from the ground. "Just let me finish business here and then we'll go get Wes," she made a move towards Xander but found herself in the grasp of a furious Master Vampire.  
  
"Let me go," Buffy kicked and struggled to get lose.  
  
"Not until you've calmed down. You will not hurt Wesley, Xander or Spike. Let me take them back to L.A. you'll never hear from us again."  
  
"You love me, you can't take his side."  
  
"No I don't. I loved Buffy. I don't know who you are."  
  
Buffy gave up struggling, "fine you've got until tomorrow. Anyone here after that gets what they deserve."  
  
Angel let her go but kept a close eye on her as he and Xander walked back to the apartment.  
  
"I can't believe that was her. I mean you told me but still seeing for myself it's still....I just can't believe that's Buffy. What about the council?"  
  
Xander shrugged, "she's still the slayer as long as she still stops the occasional apocalypse they give her a pretty free rein. She's the oldest surviving slayer that at least earns some respect from The Watchers."  
  
"If I'd known I could have been here tried to help."  
  
Xander reached out and grabbed Angel's arm, "hey stop beating yourself up. None of this is your fault, you don't think I've played the 'if only I'd done or said that' game a thousand times in my head. It doesn't change anything but it will give you a nasty headache."  
  
Angel nodded, he knew exactly what Xander meant.  
  
They stopped outside the door of Xander's apartment.  
  
"What am I going to say to him?" Angel asked. "I don't want to mess up again."  
  
"Say what you feel."  
  
"That'll work?"  
  
"It can't hurt. Just forgive him and let him forgive you. You both deserve a fresh start."  
  
"Were you always this perceptive?"  
  
"I don't know. Spike says I was but nobody else noticed. He says it's my gift."  
  
"He might be right."  
  
"Ah then you're both certifiable. Come on inside before Wesley wears down my carpet with his pacing."  
  
Xander opened the door and moved to let Angel in. It was a nice apartment; full of warm, comfy furnishings, with heavily draped windows and in the centre of the living area was Wesley.  
  
They locked eyes for what seemed like a millennia, then Angel found himself with armful of Wesley whispering, "so sorry shouldn't have left, so sorry," between fervent kisses. Angel let himself saviour the moment, he didn't even notice Xander and Spike discreetly make their way into the kitchen leaving him and Wes alone.  
  
Eventually Angel pulled back, "shh Wesley don't cry." He ran a thumb across Wes' cheek brushing away stray tears. "You've nothing to be sorry for just come back with me."  
  
"I will and I am sorry. I was so confused and angry, it hurt too much to stay. It's going to take a while for us to trust each other again but I want to try."  
  
Angel brought Wesley back into his arms again taking in the scent of his love, "so do I."  
  
"Xander and Spike, they've been so good to me we can't leave them here."  
  
"I know they're coming too I promised to help with the bonding spell."  
  
"That's wonderful." Wesley pressed his lips to Angel's grateful when they opened for him allowing his tongue inside. He eagerly explored Angel's mouth before pulling back to let Angel do the same. The bond between them sang it's contentment and the world evaporated into nothing but this one kiss.  
  
A kiss that was cut off all too soon with a loud cough.  
  
Angel turned to see Xander and a smirking Spike in the doorway.  
  
"Hate to interrupt but..." Spike began.  
  
"No you don't," Xander interjected. "You've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do exactly that."  
  
Spike smirked, "what can I say? Formally evil you know."  
  
Xander rolled his eyes and gestured to Angel and Wesley, "see what I have to put up with?" He asked before turning back to Spike, "remind me again why I love you."  
  
Spike leaned forward to whisper something in Xander's ear, Wesley and Angel couldn't make out what it was but judging by the lovely beetroot colour Xander turned it must have been good. "Oh yeah, there is that," he said with a silly grin.  
  
"Angel says you're coming back to Los Angeles with us." Angel couldn't help but smile at the use of 'us'. He knew there was a lot of repair work to do between him and Wes but he couldn't help but feel hope. For the first time in what seemed like forever he felt real hope.  
  
"Yes," Xander answered. "We'd best get packing. Time to get those vampire muscles in gear," he said nudging Spike.  
  
Spike let out an unneeded but longsuffering sigh, "going to have to make sacrifices Xan, no room for all your crap."  
  
"Hey my stuff isn't crap, and just as essential as your CD collection. I don't think we really need to take them all. I always said you had too many."  
  
"Never have too many CDs, music is essential."  
  
Angel watched as the two people that had irritated him the most fought for space in the back of Xander's car. These two who he owed so much to: keeping his Wesley safe and offering understanding where others hadn't. It seemed that he had never really known them at all and he hoped he could change that, he could only pray that the bonding spell would work.  
  
Wesley stepped in before the threatened bloodshed started, "I'm sure there's room in Angel's car for some of your belongings. Isn't there Angel?"  
  
"Plenty of room but there's only a couple of hours before dawn. Should get moving."  
  
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A quiet day was spent in Xander and Spike's apartment. They all tried to sleep but none of them really did. Each waited as the hours slowly passed by, waiting until they could finally leave Sunnydale and their former lives behind.  
  
Finally the sun set and it was time to go. Wesley and Angel went out to the cars first leaving Xander and Spike to say a last goodbye to their home.  
  
"It wasn't all bad living here was is Spike?"  
  
"No pet, it wasn't bad at all," Spike stood behind Xander wrapping his arms about his love. "Time to go nothing left for us here now."  
  
Xander turned in his lover's arms and Spike could see the unshed tears glistening, "I just wish things had worked out differently."  
  
"I know but no regrets, wouldn't change what we have."  
  
"Yeah," Xander took Spike's hand. "Let get out of here."  
  
They walked in silence down to the cars and found Angel and Wesley leaning against Angel's convertible.  
  
"Ready?" Angel asked.  
  
"Ready," Xander confirmed.  
  
Xander pulled the keys from his pocket keeping them out of Spike's grasp, "no way am I letting you behind the wheel. I want to get to Angel's in one piece."  
  
Xander chuckled, as Spike pouted, "that doesn't work on me anymore I know all your tricks."  
  
It was Spike's turn to laugh, "not all of them, can't let you into all my secrets, you'd get bored and leave."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Sometime tonight children," Angel sounded very much like the exasperated parent.  
  
"Yes dad," still grinning Xander led Spike to their car.  
  
Angel stopped suddenly feeling a familiar presence, "Buffy, what are you doing? You promised I could take them with me."  
  
Buffy stepped out from her hiding place, "you know I feel I'd be lax in my slayer duties if I did that."  
  
"Please Buffy, don't do this," Angel pleaded. Out the corner of his eyes he could see Spike and Xander already in their car and Wesley just at the door of his own.  
  
"But Angel it's my job. I'm the slayer, I have nothing else."  
  
It was already too late when Angel saw the stake, saw it whizzing through the air and into Wesley's back piercing his heart. Angel saw the look of shock on Wesley's face before he faded to dust.  
  
"NO!" Angel leapt towards the slayer putting everything he had into pounding her into the ground. Blow after blow all his pain focused on causing her more, he didn't even feel Spike and Xander pull him away leaving the broken and bloody form of the slayer behind on the grass. 


End file.
